Ugly Beauty Products Are The Best Beauty Products

When pulpy crime novelists write about the deep, dark corners of the world, what they’re actually referring to is the middle cabinet in my bathroom. It’s wedged into the corner like it’s hiding from someone. And that someone is you. Here, I stash the products in ugly, clinical packaging and the bottles of slightly embarrassing origin that I can’t live without, but that I can live with out-of-sightline. But I’ll open it today, for your entertainment and maybe also even for your service.

Prescription Dandruff Shampoo

After spending years trying every dandruff shampoo on the drugstore shelf and only growing older, I realized enough was enough. My dermatologist was like, “Yeah, NBD, here’s a prescription shampoo you use twice a week.” It’s freakishly bright red, completely scentless, and it LITERALLY WORKS. Why does this even need a prescription? I don’t get our healthcare system, but I do understand the limits of Zinc Pyrithione.

Equate Gentle Skin Cream

In…


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